Separation Anxiety is under the umbrella of Anxiety that we have already discussed. It is the time the new semester is going to begin; so that, we could share some situations of Separation Anxiety.

Basic Info & Symptoms

The statistic of American, 4.1% of the children American population has experienced or experiencing Separation Anxiety. Some symptoms they would have nightmares, serious distress when separated from their primary caregiver, reluctance to do anything that involves being apart from their primary caregiver, constant worry something will happen to their primary caregiver, inability to go to sleep without the figure of attachment close by, physical complaints that would result in the child not having to separate from their primary caregiver.

Who Got Separation Anxiety?

Will the Separation Anxiety happen to the children only? It is an interesting question. Although this is a simple question, most parents have been flaked. Honestly, they did not want to confront this. Crying, pulling the parents, procrastinate to enter the classroom, these are not unusual scenario at the first day nursery, preliminary or K1 classes. They could trigger the parents to stay in front of classroom or cry behind the door of the classroom. Child, strangely, has not cried and calm down while the parent is out of sight. However, parents will say they could never leave alone, or when they keep silence because they are unhappy. Wise parent as you could get the answer. As a matter of fact, parent just project their feelings to their child, they separated reluctantly but not the children. Over 90% children forget all the things when they have foods, new playmates, and many toys in front of him or her, but parent does waste their tears. We will come back to the solution later, let’s go on.

Adult’s Separation Anxiety

Certainly, some people thought separation Anxiety will happen in parent-child relationship only. But there is no exemption to adult, and no discrimination against gender. It is normal, for example, a couple meet every day, especially they just start for few months. Yet, some of them will feel extreme fear or anxiety when asked to do things alone or be separated from their attachment figure; she or he would try avoiding of being alone in any circumstance, fear that the one they are most attached to will leave them or be harmed in some way, even a transient separation would be restless as if lost something. This is Separation Anxiety.

Child is a Scapegoat

During the session of family therapy, scapegoat is a recurrent situation of psychological phenomenon. One of the family members would be recognized as an identity client by the other family members. It is not absolutely, but majority. Provided that parents have argument or violence behaviors and the child is a victim, who would cause misconduct at school or at home. Most of the cases of Separation Anxiety has similar situation. Parents have the detached relationship or they will not always stay at home, they separate from their children all the time. However, anxiety will not be retreated by time. Conversely, the anxiety will be reinforced, and trigger other psychological problem, such as trustful, self-esteem, interpersonal relationship, even personality problems. Meanwhile, the behaviors or symptoms of anxiety will be concealed, the problem will exacerbate.

The abnormal behaviors would be caused after long term separation. For examples, afraid of separation, then they will not make friendship with others, or they will not communicate wholeheartedly. Since then, they will not have any intimate friend for listen to his or her mind; by contrast, they yearned for attachment, so he or she could make friendship with others easier and closer, or everybody is the best friend. These are gross psychological problem, and more serious than separation anxiety.

Psychological Preparation & confrontation

The simple method for preventing separation anxiety between parent and child is elaboration and demonstration before separation. Both of them could have time to prepare, to communicate, and to confront that situation. Or parents could rehearsal at home, try to out of their sight, or told them that you are waiting for him behind the door. Just try to do something but not to swing your child’s mind. A parent has to understand “let go” is good for their growth, and their child are going to the new page of their life.

Adult who find out you got the symptoms of Separation Anxiety, please consult the professions. There are many different therapies could solve the problem, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is not the only one way to cure. The other therapies are Gestalt Therapy, Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Narrative Therapy, even Art Therapy and whatnot. If your problem is related to family issue, please consult family therapists.

Hope this article could help you to understand Separation Anxiety more than before.

Eddy

Psychotherapist