Most children have the high learning abilities, they haven’t big problem but most parents thought they are troublesome, naughty, clumsy, stupid, a hot potato. However, someone said all children are capable of learning, but there is a parent who doesn't know how to teach. Parents, won't you review and tune yourself, don't blame them wrongly? Even though you will laugh at my rehash and old-fashion, I will advocate one of the doctrines of Confucianism is self, family, country and the world. Self is the first thing we have to take care. I believe that because I am a counselor. I believe I should be a healed counselor, and I should not be a wounded counselor. If I can't cope myself, how I would cope or teach others. Similarly, how could the parent to teach a child if he or she hasn’t deal with themselves? How do we deal with ourselves? Try to learn all the things that your child is going to learn, and try to study what your child is going to study? I think there are lot of parents will think and do these; they also think they do walk on the same road, same rhythm with the child. As a matter of fact, the child follows your pace but not his or her pace, and the performance is being affected by your thoughts. Actually, your thoughts and your emotion are turning yourself to be "Monster Parents" and your child to be the "Children in Hong Kong". What is the thought? That is the thought which is a kind of unreasonable or irrational beliefs. For instances, he must get 100 marks, or the child of our neighbors is quite commonplace, as long as his English test could get 95 marks, my child can get it too? Sometimes the parents will have black and white thinking, if my child can’t study at Band One school, his future is absolutely colorless and incompetent ......etc. Do you feel déjà vu? Even though you haven’t spoken to your child in these wordings, please concentrate on some wordings you used or will be used, such as "must", "absolutely", and black and white thinking means no other option, no other exit. It will ruin you at the dead end. Emotion: most people think the mood problem is cited by "negative emotion". (Indeed, emotion is emotion, it has never distinguish to positive and negative, will elaborate this in another text.) Parents have to understand your emotion. It could sway your children directly whatever and whenever you present the uncontrollable emotion. You will be deducted the marks by your children. To what extent adopting the concept of all or nothing (black-and-white thinking) could teach your children efficiently? How could your children preform themselves under stress? Supposed that you want your children to do some items or you hope he/she could fulfill your expectation, do you think this is exceeding his ability at the same time? Otherwise, how come we could achieve your target? You do deal with your thought and emotion first, relaxing; and then, the miracle will happen. Better emotion, better thought, you and your children will reduce the stress altogether. Both of you are going to perform better and better......