7^th April is not any great day, but got the news form the internet: English time, 6^th April, 25-year-old writer, presenter, and famous model, Peaches Geldof (1989-2014) sudden dead at home. Days jealous roots. It is sudden because polices didn’t find any prohibited drugs, and she didn’t take any drug too. No scar, and “unexplained” the death at this moment. 

Bob Geldof, father of Peaches Geldof is a musician, and Peaches’ mother, Paula Yates passed away in 2000 which is a great shock for Peaches. The tragic fate for her children as if her encounter, lost the maternal love. For anyone, lost any of the parents, father or mother will express the same grief, and affect the psychological as well as physical development. 

Peaches did experience, and know that to what extent of maternal love could affect the developing of children. She loved her children, along with the action: cuddle the children, let them feel the texture of their mother’s skin, warmth, and to hear the beat of heart. Also, the other maternal behaviours that Peaches has done for their children. 

Peaches did the things about the growth and development. She is the paradigm.

She illustrated the answer of the basic needs of children during the growth development. She came from the single parent family; thereby she did endeavor giving the children what they need. Although it is, more or less, compensation, it is the undoubled fact, the children need the intimacy relationship with their parents, and also, the suitable relationship at the suitable time and stage. 

There are many seminars or workshops related to parent-child communication, and the parents do willing to learn all the times. I had the seminar last month. The topic is about the children who don’t like to talk with their parents, how could we explore or enhance the opportunity of communication? Techniques or micro-skills could be easy to learn, except relationship. The communication bases on the relationship which is the pivotal tenet.  

Intimacy relationship is what Preaches Geldof had done for their children, the tactile impression, the warmth, and the rhythm of heartbeat from their parents. Certainly, these sorts of the intimacy touching would be diminished gradually with the increment of the child’s age. However, the intimacy touching should not be eliminated. Suggested the simplest method is giving the hugging for your children before he or she goes to sleep. It custom a few seconds only, but could keep or enhance the relationship efficacious. Moreover, It is useful for the couple relationship too. 

With regard to the suitable relationship, most parents will never understand, especially the “Monster Parents”. Some parents will put their unfinished business onto their children, or examine the value in term of the attention of other people. Both excessive demands and unreasonable comparison are ruining the parent-child relationship. Besides, some parents follow the patriarchal system to manage their children. Conversely, over amiable attitude is not the suitable strategy too. Even though the traditional Confucianism has never advocated this, Confucius said that neither over nor inadequate, at the same time, is not on track. 

Transactional analysis (TA) is one of the therapeutic models of Psychology which depicts the relationship among human being. The relationship or attitude will be changed anytime by various situations. For example, the relationship between parents and children would be changed from the parent- child to child –child. The vintage approach of communication is under the reasonable relationship and situation. This is the basis. Otherwise, all of the communication skills are dysfunction. 

Peaches Geldof is the one who experienced the above-mentioned, she knew love and relationship is indispensable, and could assist the health development of children. Regrettably, she wrote at the twitter on 6^th April 2014 that “Never that wild”. Nonetheless, she hasn’t the time any more to practice her positive parenting again. We can only hope her children could live positively and optimistically. 

Eddy

Psychotherapist 

Part of Information retrieved from the Internet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peaches_Geldof