Type 4 - ★Contradicting and easily changeable mother: Easy to develop attached children★
Mothers’ manifestation: Generally, single mothers have financial pressure, and have to shoulder heavy load of work. They sometimes can fulfill their attachment to their children, but often times they are forced to leave their children alone. In addition, the emotion of mothers under tremendous pressure is usually unstable; they are sometimes cold, sometimes impatient, sometimes loving and caring.

Mentality of children: It is difficult for children in such environment to establish stable sense of security. Subconsciously, they will think they can get the love and care they need only by continuous crying. Thus, they will feel cheerfulness, satisfaction, anger and sorrow in alternate manners, and uncontrollably form conflicting feelings to love and hatred towards their mothers.

The vexation of growth: After these children have grown up and enter an intimate relationship, their attachment tendency will clearly reveal: their demand for intimate contacts is never-ending, and need the attention and care of their partners all the time, with no tolerance for neglect and cold shoulders. They are used to satisfying their psychological needs through anger, wrangles and threats, forcing their partners to care for them. The extreme lack of security makes them jealous and suspicious; no matter how their partners explain, they are still not able to trust them completely.

Upbringing EQ: Try to avoid expression of conflicting and unstable emotion; give them affirmation on their words and acts. Let them know that they will always own mothers’ love however busy mothers are.

Thus, mothers should understand their own weaknesses in personality, and avoid the bad influence on their children during the upbringing process. Try to praise your children’s strengths more and help them overcome their weaknesses. Learn from experienced people.